the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
