Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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