He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
