I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
