So drunk its hurt
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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