plz talk dirty to me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
