I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
