he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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