This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
