Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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