I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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