Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
