hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
