Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
