Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize