I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
