I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
