i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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