when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
