I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think people are normalizing furries
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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