i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Floor bacon is actually really good
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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