i jhust puked up my retainher.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
