the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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