We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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