So drunk its hurt
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your cock deserves a montage
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
