doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize