Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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