I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize