There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
