Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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