And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize