her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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