she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had to cum in my sink.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
