Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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