So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
