I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
