ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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