New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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