I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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