Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
