god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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