Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
