I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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