this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
