I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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