i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize