It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
