The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
