Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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