Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
