Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize