Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
