She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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