And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
