Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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