is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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