so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
