I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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