I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
