How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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