So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
