At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
