dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
